Don't worry, be happy

I've had a bit of an indulgent day as an attempt to relax and quit worrying so much. I've tried to stop worrying about the fact that the Argentine diet is one of the unhealthiest I've come across (loaded with refined flour products, charred red meat, nada on the organic, coca-cola galore, every other person chain-smoking, everything we've learned in the last ten years or so that is horrible for your health), that you have to have 360-degree vision to cross a street to avoid being hit by a careless driver that does not pay attention to crosswalks or stoplights as well as nimble feet to keep you from tripping on loose tiles (that sometimes spray doggie doolie and other unidentified matter on your legs if it's been raining). I've needed to stop worrying that I don't speak the language (but I can try), that I may be getting asthma from the air pollution (went jogging today and felt as though I was breathing through a straw), that I could get mugged, that I might see another dead cat on the sidewalk, that one of the stray dogs could give me rabies (although they seem quite friendly). Anyway, it's time to let all that go. I'm going to start enjoying myself here a bit more. Not that I'm about to go hog-wild and try to experience everything I can get my hands on (I learned my lesson in Japan, as I became deathly ill from my overindulgence-induced food poisoning, see "Sushi" poem below for more details) or go to every club, bar, museum, etc. But I'm going to try and relax a bit.

So I had a delicious hot chocolate with dulce con leche-filled churros and then went and had sushi at Maki Sushi, a tiny place with only four seats that is mostly takeout (with shelves lining the walls holding the ubiquitous white cat of fortune and other common cartoonish characters that you might expect) just a few blocks away from my place. Surprisingly, BA has a lot of sushi restaurants due to a large Japanese immigrant population along with their exposure to a huge stretch of ocean (I'll let you know if I find a good one, however). As I sat there having a rather disappointing sampler platter (I don't at all understand the popularity of philadelphia cream cheese sushi rolls - yuck) and a One-Cup Sake (extremely cheap sake that you would buy at an am/pm convenient store in Japan and drink on the street), I was reading a bit of my Time Out guidebook, newly purchased from the ultra-expensive English bookstore (I accidentally left my guidebook at a locutorio back in Uruguay and needed to get a new one, especially with my upcoming trips around the country) and came across the author's nutshell description of this city, and was struck by an adjective he used to describe it: Dickensian. I almost laughed.

I find Dickensian London rather fascinating and when I was there and went on that ghost tour there was a part of me that wished things weren't so shiny and new but rather looked the way they looked for Dickens with the dreary darkness and suffering because that seems more authentic. And now what do I have? At least according to one guidebook author, I can have all this in BA. And this was all exactly what I was running like a bat out of hell from in Villa Crespo and what keeps me off dark streets at night or causes me to avoid navigating in areas where the homeless have enough bagged possesions to fill a one-bedroom apartment. And all of this is what I have been complaining and coughing about ever since. I guess it's quite a luxury to actually romanticize Dickensian times. And once again, I feel like an idiot. It seems that every time I make a decision or form an opinion about anything it's somehow thrown on its head and in my face to prove me wrong. I'm trying not to be too opinionated (I mean, opinions are good and necessary, of course, but without enough knowledge and adequate experience to back up an opinion, you end up looking like an arrogant idiot - duh - and that's been me more times than I'd like to admit). I try to remain humble, I'm working on it. But oftentimes strong opinions can be quite funny, like Maria's son's response when I asked him what he thought about Sarah Palin: she's a bimbo.

I also don't want to report back all of the stereotypes that I am seeing that one could read in a guidebook or that I've read in a guidebook myself (okay, I know I've done this quite a bit already, and just did it above, but these people can't hog it all! I can only promise to keep it at a minimum). Has everything already been thought and written before or can I actually have a unique experience here? Or is this all just cliche? Well, bear with me.

Here's a poem I wrote a while back:

Sushi
Seaweed-wrapped salmon eggs glisten like the Buddha’s belly.
Oily mackerel on rice glows like a geisha’s painted face.
Ruby maguro blinks red: flashing pachinko parlor lights. Daily
the kaitenzushi beckons me. Small plates circle the counter’s
canal, graced with uncooked kings and queens bedecked
in sparkling baby jewels. I devour otoro-maki after tekka-maki
and let shoyu drip down my neck as wasabi explodes up my nose.
I take another plate. But the unhatched whipworms hid
between fish scales and tuna blubber. Salmon sashimi carried
an army of anisakis into my intestines. Nematodes build cities
in my belly, nibble on decadence in frenzied copulation,
multiply in my ruddy gut while I waste away muscle, and am left
with toxic fat globules. Raw delectables are now no better
than a pair of used panties in a Tokyo vending machine.

Springtime in BA

Things are getting better. Spring is here, it´s warming up, the days are growing longer, flowers are blooming, trees are getting greener, the portenos (city people in BA) are out in the parks having picnics and bike-rides. The air feels better. Everything honestly looks brighter - I don´t know if it´s my outlook, my new location, the weather or what, but things are beginning to look up. I'm beginning to grow into my new surroundings and my feelings of panic are fading, quickly.

The evening of Paraguayan harp music and food with Maria and her friends was lovely. It was at an intimate little venue in Palermo Soho (a hip part of town that is growing with new shops, cafes, restaurants, and trendy lofts), filled with locals. We were served a delicious meal of empanadas, some sort of cornbread, stew, and goat's cheese with honey for dessert. And of course, malbec to drink, conservatively.

There were a number of Maria's friends who spoke English fluently, so that's always comforting. One of her friends, a doctor, asked me what it is I'm doing here (naturally a common question where I at times am at a loss for an answer). Am I studying the culture and habits of the Argentine people, like an anthropologist? I said, yes. Then he laughed and asked, what am I really doing here? I said, to travel and learn Spanish. This seems to be the most socially acceptable answer and is true, of course, but really, I want to go beyond being a tourist--I want to absorb everything I can about this place and see what I can make of it, expand my horizons I suppose.

So, Sunday was another lovely day. Maria came to pick me up, gave me another tour of some more parts of the city with historical commentary, and then took me to her home outside of the city to have a nice home-cooked lunch with her and her son before we would go to the town church of San Isidiro for a classical music concert that she was in involved in putting together. I'm always thankful to get out of the city and it was very nice to be in a home with dogs and a garden eating a nice meal and talking to people, my Argentinian adoptive family.

The concert was nice and the church was packed with people, many were sitting on the floor. It was quite a turnout. The town of San Isidiro, where Maria grew up and where she lives now, is beautiful. It's an old town, with two-story Spanish colonial buildings, lots of cafes, lots of trees, narrow cobblestone streets. Very charming. I was thinking I could live there and never need to go back into Buenos Aires. From everyone that I've spoken to that lives outside of the city, they seem to feel the same way - it's like there is BA and then the rest of the country. I suppose it's that way with any huge city, though. Just like there's London and the rest of England - while I love London for it's bustling quirky energy, the rest of England is quite different.

After the concert and the tour of San Isidiro, we went over to Maria's brother and sister-in-law's for afternoon tea, which was just behind Maria's home. We all sat in the garden (which had a little pool in the corner, like Maria's garden) and I met many of Maria's nieces and nephews and their children and grandchildren. There were croissants and scones and tea and coca-cola. They usually meet like this on Sundays. It all seemed so old-fashioned. I love that this sort of tradition still exists in today's world of no time for anything. Through what I've seen of Maria's life at least, it seems that Argentines are extremely social. People make time to see loved ones on a regular basis. And most of the family lives close to each other to make it that much easier to get together.

I guess Maria's sister-in-law was a bit shaken up from the week before when thieves broke into her home, tied her up, put a gun to her head, took any money she had, and attempted to steal her and her husband's cars. They were going to climb over the wall into Maria's yard and rob her as well but the sister-in-law said not to go over there because there are dogs. So they put some meat from the freezer in the microwave to feed the dogs. The police were called by a neighbor before they got any further, and no one was hurt, but it sounded quite scary. Maria said there are a lot of people on drugs here and the neighborhoods are getting dangerous. There is a huge slum in San Isidiro called La Cava and a lot of problems occur like minors murdering people and being set free because they cannot be tried as an adult. Meanwhile their president was elected because they paid people off to vote for them (the wife of the previous president, who did the same) and are not doing anything to help with what seems to be many concerns that are growing worse.

Well, it's almost time for me to take a level test for Spanish class, a test that is quite unnecessary because I can tell them already I know nada. Maria also pointed out a few jazz places to hear Argentine jazz that are just a few blocks away from my place. This is quite nice that there are so many places to go near where I live now. Being in Villa Crespo, which has now become a funny story when I am introduced to people, living there, getting bug bites (I'm still getting bug bites like crazy even now though, I don't know what it is) like I said before, made the city feel so huge and with dimly lit streets that I was walking down to get home at night, made this city feel very scary for me. Rightly so, that was probably a little bit on the dangerous side to be walking everywhere and I've decided that the city is best seen at night from the window of a taxi. Taxis are actually quite cheap, so that helps.

I'm also looking into travel plans within Argentina as this country has so many beautiful places to see and it would be a shame to miss them while here. I was thinking of going to Salta, a NW province filled with beautiful mountains, indigenous people and culture, and old Spanish colonial architecture, for a week or so, to begin. Just as long as I'm far enough from mosquitos carrying yellow fever! I did not get vaccinated for this before I left, unaware that this was a problem.

And I can start posting pictures - yay! Maria's son kindly helped me with my computer problems and I am again connected to the internet - this could be a good and bad thing, but my reliance on internet access has reached a point that without it I feel quite lost.

Hope all is well and thanks for reading!

Settling in . . . still

I know this is a rather self-indulgent blog, or at least it has been lately, because I have been using all of my energy just trying to exist in BA, trying to figure out how can I be sufficiently happy enough to get through another day and not come home. I like having funny stories to share, but so far nothing funny has been happening. The only funny stories are the ones I´ve been thinking about from past experiences. It´s really great to have a whole bag of these to look back on when things look grim. And amidst all of my self-absorption, with my anxiety and panic over whether or not I´m going to find organic produce or will all of the (extreme like I´ve never experienced it before) pollution cause me to look like Cosmo Kramer after he turned his apartment into a smoking lounge, the entire world is falling apart.

Craziness!

Yesterday the Argentinian government announced that they would be turning private pensions public and the country is in a panic. What this all means I don´t quite know. Since I´ve been here, I´ve wondered if this was perhaps not the best time to tap into my savings and travel a foreign land. It´s completely impractical, I realize this. That puts all the more pressure on me to make something out of my experience.

Anyway, I´ve moved to a nicer area where I can actually walk to the parks in an hour and it´s a very nice walk the whole way, with museums, nice neighborhoods, and a giant metal flower that opens and closes relative to day and night. I can see trees from my bedroom window and it is quiet at night. I also can watch the news on TV and become completely glued to CNN in fascination. (I´ve never found the news to be this addictive since 9-11.) I have my own tiny kitchen and a bathtub. It feels like utter extravagance in comparison to my last accomodations and I am very thankful that I had that barebones experience in a less than ideal neighborhood (where I was getting horrible bug bites every night as well) because it makes me appreciate my new place so much! Something that I can´t quite figure out, however, is why a swarm of flies gather above my bed and attack each other. They come back to the same place every day and thankfully leave at night.

So, what´s next.... I am looking into some other Spanish classes for I missed the sign-up on Monday (was returning from Uruguay) and decided I didn´t want to sign up for something that would be everyday anyway. Tomorrow night I´m going to a Paraguayan harp concert with Maria and her family and friends. That should be really interesting. More to come.

I will try putting some pictures on here soon. I´m having to come to a locutorio (phone and internet place) because I still can´t get the internet on my computer, even with a cable. We´ll see if I can do pictures on their computers.

Hope all is well! Thanks for reading.

coca-lite and wine

Something I´ve noticed here in S.A. is that people (Argentinians, Uruguayans, Brazilians) often drink mineral water, coke, and-or coca-lite with their meals, rather than wine. Sometimes they have coca-lite AND wine with their meals, which was the case at the asado I attended, an odd combination if you ask me. I find this interesting and am guessing that Argentine wine is largely exported, most likely to the US, where we drink copious amounts in comparison.

my vacation from my vacation in Uruguay

So, as you can see from my previous posts (or perhaps not), I was having a very hard time and needed to take a vacation from my vacation before I got to the point of a total freak-out, needing to come home. Am I a complete wimp? I think I´m just doing what I think is necessary to help me get a handle on my new surroundings. BA was a complete shock and totally different than I had imagined, which was a great opportunity to live cheaply in the Paris of S. America. I´m finding out that not only is this a deceiving comparison but that it is also not cheap! For someone coming from NYC or England it would be a steal. But I am finding that it is at the same level of expense as Minneapolis, at least in the nice parts of town.

As for my therapeutic vacation, I am currently in Punta del Este, Uruguay. This town is nicknamed the St. Tropez of S. America, but as I have never been to St. Tropez I cannot compare and find it to be a mix of the Italian Riviera and Fort Lauderdale. This may sound like a strange mix, and normally I do not seek out resorty spots, but I absolutely love this place! Although it is filled with those typical white skyscrapers, the beaches have beautiful natural views, the food is amazing (I have finally found great salads that I´m not afraid to eat [e-coli worry-free] and fresh seafood), the Uruguayans are incredibly friendly, and of course the sunshine is not at all bad. It´s everything you could want for a touristy beach resort town. I also spent two days in Colonia, Uruguay before coming here. It was a quiet, charming little town that reminded me of a miniature San Miguel de Allende, but on the river (that looks like the ocean) rather than in the mountains. It was easy enough to get there via a one-hour ferry from BA and from there I took a four-hour bus ride to Punta del Este, which stopped in Montevideo for one hour. Both of these places were recommended by my family friend, Maria.

While I´ve been in Uruguay, I´ve been able to get my scattered self back together and think more clearly about the direction I want to take with my time in Argentina. In Colonia I spent a lot of time just relaxing by the river, feeling like it would not have been totally out of place if I had been in a wheelchair with a warm blanket over me, recovering from my shock. I know from experience that new things can be a bit scary at first (or even terrible, I was not at all happy upon arrival in Japan, I´m remembering), but in BA I was beginning to feel like the girl in the blair witch project in the scene where she is in the basement panicking. Yes, I was completely panicking. Simply walking around unfamiliar territory once it gets dark can be a bit scary and I´ve concluded that wearing my glasses might help as my night-vision is not the greatest.

So now that I´ve seen what BA is like, granted this had been on a very surface level, I´ve only been there a week and have spent most of that time walking around to put a visual map of the city in my head, I can begin addressing my needs and attempt to put together a structure that will hopefully make for a happy and productive time. In Villa Crespo I tried to do this, but being so far out (it took me an hour to get anywhere via walking, subte, bus) caused me to experience the vastness of the city on a level that was too much for me to handle. Not only that, but as I´m away I´m realizing it is not only important but crucial that I am somewhere near nature, and the only park near Diana´s house is what I can only compare to one huge circular parking lot with people jogging around the outskirts amongst traffic. I was also unable to sleep due to the all-night long traffic, noise that earplugs could not cover up. All in all, I was just unhappy where I was living and it mainly had to do with the location, as authentic of an experience it may have provided me, it was ultimately not the experience I wanted. I could go into all of the things that bothered me about the place and how Diana was beginning to get on my nerves, but I think to be fair I´ll leave that out.

So while I´ve been on my vacation from my vacation, I´ve also (sadly) spent quite a bit of time on the internet trying to figure out a new place to live. After a lot of searching and email exchanges, I found a very charming studio in Recoleta - the heart of the city. I found this one on craigslist, as I did the room in Villa Crespo, but this apartment is through an agency and it all seems more professional, I suppose. Maria made a point in one of our email exchanges (she has been putting a lot of effort into trying to help me get settled comfortably) that when you are in a foreign country you need to find a living situation that is similar to what you are used to or else it can be quite unpleasant. I was searching for something different than I was used to when I came here, but I think living in BA will be different enough for me and my little studio can be my santuary where I recharge. I have only seen pictures, but it overlooks a small garden and is supposed to be very quiet. It is also very close to all of the parks, and there are a handful of beautiful big parks in this part of BA. So anyway, I think after my needs are met of feeling secure and well-rested, things will start to run a bit more smoothly. It´s difficult to just overturn your life, mix everything up, and expect things to fall into place. The older I get, the better idea I have of what I need to make myself happy and when I don´t have those things it starts to feel like my brain is short-circuiting, unable to compute what it is taking in and in shock of what it is missing. But bottom line, I must have nature. And a quiet place to sleep.

Anyway, thanks for reading, if anyone is reading this. Time to go flake out on the beach for a while....

getting to know ba

Here I am again at the Spell Cafe, a bar-cafe on the canal in Puerto Madero, a nice quiet area that is easy for me to get to and where I have bushes and the sky as part of my view. I have given up on trying to get the internet on my computer for the time being and have trouble going into the sleazy internet shops.

So yesterday I spent the day with a family friend, Maria. She was an exchange student at Wayzata High School in 1959 and can vividly and fondly recall her time spent in the twin cities, paradise, as she says. It was interesting to hear her speak of a time that seemed so all-American and old-fashioned - a memory that is locked in her mind as it was an intense one and she has very little experience of the changes since then. She picked me up from my apt., gave me a tour of the city, showed me the US Embassy, the very wealthy neighborhoods, the important landmarks, brought me to a neat little coffee shop where we had cafe con leche, and then we went to her sister´s home in the outskirts of town for an asado (barbeque) with some of the family. So much for not eating meat.

On our way to her sister´s, she pointed out slums along the highway that have appeared in the last two years and explained that they are out of control, and there are more slums being built on top of each other everyday. It was quite a contrast going from wealthy neighborhoods to utter poverty. But even in the nicest neighborhoods, statues had been spray-painted with graffiti. She also pointed out the river (here I realized that that was not the ocean I was walking along the other day, but the incredibly wide river) and explained its murky brown color that was caused by all the mud on the bottom. She said she loves the color of the river. I am realizing this from all Argentinians that I´ve spoken to (and so far that hasn´t been many), that they love their country, take pride in what they have, and find beauty everywhere whereas my first impressions were heart-sinking. But to see a bit of the city through Maria´s eyes helped, and it helped moving along in a car - much more condusive for travelling along the expansive 6-lane roads than walking.

We arrived at her sister´s home, an English-style country home that is over 100 years old. They have a huge family, many brothers and sisters that have many children and so forth, and only part of the family was there on this day. I was warmly greeted by everyone and have become quite comfortable with the standard greeting of a kiss on the cheek (I did not know that was the custom before coming here). Everyone gathered around a long table in the backyard that was enclosed with plastic (it has been raining) and a roof which jutted out from Maria´s brother-in-law´s office (detached from the house). The grill was in this space with lots of meat cooking. We had salads and different meats, great red wine (I have not had any Argentinian wine that I have not liked so far) and then for dessert we had amazing cakes and dulce con leche on chocolate - I´d never had this before and found it delicious. They told me that it is typical for families to have a jar of the caramel in their refrigerator and go through it in a week. Everyone was trying out their English and encouraging me to speak Spanish and giving me lots of good advice for my stay. The elders thought I´d probably rather live in a nicer area and perhaps with someone that would cook my meals, wheres the younger family members said they like the neighborhood I´m in.

After the meal, I had a tour of the house. It was a modest-sized home, filled with antiques that sparkled from care. I was shown a little room where they had a rather large crucifix that was hundreds of years old and some other very old religious icons. Another thing I did not know was what a devoutly Catholic country Argentina is. I guess I´m just learning as I go. After the tour we said good-bye and headed to another neighborhood so Maria could drop off some gifts for a friend´s daughter´s wedding. This was the old English neighborhood outside of the city, filled with English mansions and tree-lined streets, but then enclosed with tattered buildings, shops, etc., that have been built in the last 50 years. I met Maria´s friend and thought she was English, red-haired and freckles and a perfect English accent. It turned out her father was English and came over with the meat-packing industry. She also attended the best English school in the country, which was right around the corner.

We left and began to head back to BA. Just around the corner from her friend´s home were train tracks with a commuter train crossing. Maria explained that the English had originally owned the trains but that Peron bought them. Since then they´ve been deteriorating. I saw that the trains had door missing with people hanging out of them and yet again, spray-painted with graffiti. After we crossed the tracks, Maria pointed out the English country club where one could play polo or golf. A beautiful country club that was surrounded by tattered spray-painted buildings. But it seems that this is the way things are here, you see decay and deterioration and then behind the doors is this opulence that is brought on by the people taking care of what they have. This is why where I am staying is fine with me because it doesn´t feel scummy, it is well taken care of, even if it isn´t much. Coming from the land of plenty, I really respect this.

So I am thinking that since my English classes will begin next week, I should take this time to get out of town for a few days and go to Uruguay. Maria was telling me about Colonia, a quaint colonial town that is an hour away by ferry, and Punta del Este, another hour from Colonia, that sound very nice.

More later! Hope all is well!

Yerba Mate and other thoughts

Something that I did not know about yerb mate (and really, I didn´t know much about it before coming here) is that Argentinians only drink this with family and close friends. The other day as Diana was making her mate, filled her little ceramic pot with it the leaves, stuck in her silver straw, and poured boiling water over it, I asked if I could try it. When she pointed the silver straw in my direction, I said I thought I was coming down with a cold and didn´t want to give her my germs. Then she said that is good because she only drinks mate with family. I´ve seen S. Americans around town with a mug and straw, and she said these are not Argentinians, that Argentinians only drink mate at home. I read in my lonely planet guidebook that a group all drinks out of the same cup, from the same straw, passing it around in a circle. This reminds me a little bit of the Japanese tea ceremony where you would pass the tea bowl around in an intimate setting and everyone would drink from the same bowl - that bowl only to be cleaned later with a good rinsing of cold water.

I´m also feeling a bit bad that I´ve been rather harsh with my first impressions. I need to take into consideration that this is an impoverished country and that I´ve come from a city with an extremely high standard of living. It is sad to think it was once one of the wealthiest countries in the world 100 years ago. I´ve been noticing some of the faded granduer with old buildings in the perhaps not-so-nice neighborhoods, spray-painted with graffiti and blackened from pollution. And then out from these buildings come extremely well-dressed Argentinians. It´s an interesting contradiction.

And I don´t want to go around thinking everything is so cheap because I have American dollars and that´s so great. That helps with containing some of my feelings of overwhelmnent (is that a word?), but overall I think that is an arrogant attitude to take on. These people are working hard and they have so little. I guess I´m realizing that this is a whole new concept for me to experience.

have arrived safe and sound in Buenos Aires

So it´s been a little more than 2 days now that I´ve been in Argentina and I´ve spent most of that time freaking out. Well, freaking out while walking, usually - and not necessarily freaking out in a good way. Last night I was freaking out while trying to get to sleep. This is a very high energy city, I am living in a rather polluted and busy part of town, Villa Crespo. It is the Jewish neighborhood, blue-collar, middle-class, where I figured I´d get a more authentic experience. My eyes are swollen every morning from the pollution and I´ve made the mistake of drinking the water (in tea, boiled, I thought this was okay??).

Behind the peach-painted metal door on the street, you walk down a long skinny corridor lined with plants to another door that leads you to the open area of the casa. There is a room to the right where Mike from Midway Chicago is living, a recent college graduate (I told him I´d flown out of Midway a few times, was this rude?), then counter-clockwise you have the den, with a table and Diana´s computer, then left of that is Diana´s room, then a bathroom and the kitchen (which toxicly smells like kerosene). Then there is a set of shallow worn marble steps that lead up to the terrace, Diana´s studio, and my room which consists of a bed, table, wardrobe, and bathroom - all of which I awkwardly move around. The hot water for the shower I´ve found out takes a while to travel up the pipes, but after waiting ten minutes and having one minute of warm water and then a continuous trickle of cold, I´ve learned that I will be taking trickling cold showers. Luckily I joined a gym a few blocks away where I plan to take any needed hot showers. A gym where you need to be inspected by a doctor for lice and they check your fingernails as well to see if you are fit for the swimming pool - this to be done every 15 days. I also need my doctor´s okay that Í´m healthy enough to work out - and I´m hoping this will just slide by unnoticed because I have a whole list of hassling things to try and figure out before I do that - like learn Spanish! I feel like such a rude idiot not knowing much of the language here and am looking into Spanish classes pronto.

The madame of the house, Diana, is an artist, very kind and helpful and is trying to do everything she can to make me feel comfortable. When she laid out the house rules she said that we smoke only alone and ashamed, on the terrace or in our rooms, ashamed. I´m not planning to smoke in either, but I found this rather humorous. Her tango paintings and sculptures are all over the house and there is one in clear view from my bed. It is all very interesting. She gives art lessons at her home and today had a little girl over, they were working with colored paper. She is full of information and ideas for what I can do here and has helped me find Spanish classes at the University that I can sign up for next week. She has also described for me what things were like in BA during the economic crash in 2001 - people wailing in the streets because their homes were taken from them, all their money in the bank was taken from them. She said that it made people crazy and there are still many crazy people left on the street. I think I may´ve seen some of them already. She said that she likes having rooms to rent out because she likes meeting new people and trying to understand their perspectives. When I arrived Wed., we had tea and a long chat talking about our different perspectives.

There is also a black cat, Shakti, and a tortoise that I accidentally stepped on when I first arrived. At first I thought he was a doorjamb.

Next day...
I´ve spent the last couple of days just trying to slow things down. The pace of the city and my urgent need to feel comfortable and adapt to my surroundings has caused me to feel quite anxious - that on top of not sleeping well due to traffic through the night and birds chirping early in the morning has not been a good mix. Last night I went to a tango performance that included dinner. It was all quite impressive. I had an Argentine steak that was so huge it was ridiculous. The smell of steak cooking everywhere I go may just put me off meat for quite a while now. This morning I went to a spinning class at the gym I just joined and could smell cooking meat from the restaurant across the street the whole time. Along with making me nauseous, it also brought back memories of the gym I belonged to in Evanston that was above a steak place - it always smelled like burnt meat in there.

So tango was good and I loved the music - I´d like to learn some tango steps and plan to take some classes and go to some tango halls. I´m trying to develop a purpose for me being here besides writing - concrete activities like spanish classes rather than such abstract ideas - I think this will help ground me. I also want to make some friends. This will all help me happily write. If I´m not feeling good I don´t want to do anything. I didn´t get home from the tango show until after 1am last night and my head was literally buzzing. I´m hoping to get a good night´s sleep tonight. What has happened to my nerves over the years? I think back to being in Japan - how did I do it? I don´t know if I was more resilient then or if the older I get the less adaptable I become and more inclined I am to want to be cozy at home.

My favorite area so far is Puerto Madiera, an old port that´s been refurbished. There are lots of pretty cafes along the water (unfortunately, however, there is a Hooters and TGIF´s, not so pretty), lots of warehouses restored with lofts. It is very quiet, no cars zooming by, and people seem very relaxed. Beyond the canal is a huge nature preserve. I wandered around in there yesterday. It is completely wild and you can walk along the ocean. Again, very quiet - it was just what I needed. I´d like to make it there a couple of times a week. I do like cities, but I like green cities. I need parks if I´m going to be in a city. I need to be able to breathe!!! My impressions of the city as a whole have been quite positive - the more I see the more I like it. It feels like a mix of Japan and Europe. BA actually reminds me more of Kyoto than Paris - but I think that´s just the newer (last 50 years) cheap construction. The older stuff reminds me more of cities I´ve visited in Spain, Barcelona perhaps. But it´s only been a few days - I want to get my first impressions down because I know I will never see the city the way I see it now, it will continue to change and grow by the minute - and I´m absorbing it all as I go. This can be a bit overwhelming. But I guess this is exactly what I wanted. It´s already getting hot here, was probably in the 80s today.